Fate

Fate

According to Albert Einstein,“the distinction between the past, the present and the future is a stubbornly persistent illusion”. For years, I have been stubbornly entangled too in an uncontrollable relationship with allergy. The traumas and scars left on my body cannot be cured no matter the medicine I take or the ointments I apply. One day, the doctor announced to me that allergic reactions will accompany me for the rest of my life.

My fate does not allow me to get rid of my allergy. From repulsion to acceptance, and from forbearance to mutualism, I can only reach to a compromise with it. I am officially a hypersensitive person who has been living with allergens for a long time. I undertake allergic tests every year. The latest results have displayed that I carry a lifelong risk of sensitization due to long-term exposure to nickel and cobalt, two commonly used metals. Similarly, to an intimate relationship of prolonged love, allergy has quietly invaded my body and mind, turning into a part of my personal history.

My series “Fate” employs distinct body languages and emotional states, such as touch, desire, rejection, word and forgiveness, to establish a solid dialogue with allergy through still images and a video projection that come together in a dark space.

Allergy works here as an eloquent metaphor of fate in life. I projected allergens (photography by Theodore Gray and Nick Mann) onto the wall. In a self-directed stage, I use my body to intervene on the final image. Juxtaposed with their shades, my figure and skin fills them. By altering their color and shape, it performs my ever-changing mental relation with allergy. This act of appropriation reinforces in me a state of inner peace and self-acceptance.

In Physics, the Poincaré recurrence theorem states that, after a sufficiently long but finite time, certain systems will return to a state very akin to their initial state. This is our case. We are all alone from birth to death. Other people are just passengers in our paths. Nothing lasts forever. Learning to live with ourselves is the longest intimate relationship in life. Since we cannot escape our fate, we have to confront it bravely. Each individual’s existence, thus, can only be regarded “being towards death”.

宿命

爱因斯坦说过“过去现在和未来之间的差别只是我们的幻觉。”就像我已经不记得什么时候触碰到了这些过敏原,然后一发不可收拾的与它们开始了多年的纠葛。身上留下的各种创伤印记无论内服药物还是外涂药膏都无法痊愈,直到医生对我宣布,我对它们的过敏反应将会伴随我一生。

这一切就像冥冥之中的一场宿命, 无法摆脱只有妥协。我对它们从陌生到熟悉,从排斥到接受,从隐忍到共生。。。好似一种日久生情的亲密关系,悄无声息地侵入我的身心,成为了我生活的一部分。

亲密关系与过敏原是困扰了我很长一段时间的话题,我是一个高敏体质患者,长期处于过敏反应症状之中。每年都会去医院做各种过敏源测试,最近的测试结果显示我对镍和钴有终身过敏反应,我不能长期接触它们,然而生活中很多物品都是由这两类金属构成。这一系列影像作品便表达了我与它们之间的这场宿命。

我利用幻灯片将过敏原投影到墙上,试图用身体填充其中。通过不同的肢体语言与其对话,讲述与过敏原之间从相遇到渴望、经历排斥与沟通、再到和解之后的共存,最后回归自我内心的平静。人生就像是一个自导自演的舞台,我们上演着悲欢离合 ,生老病死,无休无止。

我们从降生到死去,都是独自一人。其他人都只是漫长一生之中的过客,没有谁能陪伴到永远。学会与自我相处便是每个人一生当中最长情的一段亲密关系。庞加莱曾在著名的回归定理中提出,“在一个足够长却有限的时间间隔内,任何孤立体系,最终将回到自己最接近初始的状态。”说的便是如此。面对宿命,既然我们无法逃避,那就勇敢面对。至少我们学会了向死而生。

Edition of 10 + 2AP on 100x150cm