According to Albert Einstein,“the distinction between the past, the present and the future is a stubbornly persistent illusion”. For years, I have been stubbornly entangled too in an uncontrollable relationship with allergy. The traumas and scars left on my body cannot be cured no matter the medicine I take or the ointments I apply. One day, the doctor announced to me that allergic reactions will accompany me for the rest of my life.
My fate does not allow me to get rid of my allergy. From repulsion to acceptance, and from forbearance to mutualism, I can only reach to a compromise with it. I am officially a hypersensitive person who has been living with allergens for a long time. I undertake allergic tests every year. The latest results have displayed that I carry a lifelong risk of sensitization due to long-term exposure to nickel and cobalt, two commonly used metals. Similarly, to an intimate relationship of prolonged love, allergy has quietly invaded my body and mind, turning into a part of my personal history.
My series “Fate” employs distinct body languages and emotional states, such as touch, desire, rejection, word and forgiveness, to establish a solid dialogue with allergy through still images and a video projection that come together in a dark space.
Allergy works here as an eloquent metaphor of fate in life. I projected allergens (photography by Theodore Gray and Nick Mann) onto the wall. In a self-directed stage, I use my body to intervene on the final image. Juxtaposed with their shades, my figure and skin fills them. By altering their color and shape, it performs my ever-changing mental relation with allergy. This act of appropriation reinforces in me a state of inner peace and self-acceptance.
In Physics, the Poincaré recurrence theorem states that, after a sufficiently long but finite time, certain systems will return to a state very akin to their initial state. This is our case. We are all alone from birth to death. Other people are just passengers in our paths. Nothing lasts forever. Learning to live with ourselves is the longest intimate relationship in life. Since we cannot escape our fate, we have to confront it bravely. Each individual’s existence, thus, can only be regarded “being towards death”.
Edition of 10 + 2AP on 100x150cm